Back to the Past!
by Todd666
Summary: An unlikely person helps shake things up a bit in the Sweeney Todd story. Gradual Sweenet. Romance/Humor/SciFi/SPOOF/Adventure/Drama
1. WTF?

**Yeesh, y'know, it's hard writing a story. I'm still stumped on _I'm the Only One_ and I want to finish it. I do have _Alive at Last!_ to work on, but I want to finish my other story and I'm sure that you guys are wishing the same thing. Hmmm…perhaps I'll watch the _Sweeney Todd_ movie to get my brain in action…? You know what, that's what I'll do!**

**I get up and go into my sister's room to get the DVD. I say hello and goodbye and go into my room and pop the sucker into my laptop. Here goes nothing. After watching the opening sequence, I prepare myself for one of the most unflattering parts of the movie, the close-up of Anthony Hope. Seriously, he looks like a woman and a bad woman to add to that!**

**Ahh…Jonny Depp…he's a sexy devil in this movie. Great singer, too! I watched memorized as Sweeney sings about what happened to him. I sigh with relief as he leaves "The Thing" and heads down to Fleet Street. Yes! In comes Mrs. Lovett! I watch with envy as she sings her opening song. I can sing it, too, but not as well as her. Helena makes an awesome Mrs. Lovett. So, she finishes her song and the two of them head into her parlor and she begins to sing her next song.**

**Wait…I feel weird…like something's pulling at me. I feel myself leaning towards the screen of my laptop. I knew that I shouldn't have gone on that cursed amusement park ride yesterday. What the Hell--!?**

* * *

"…NO!! Would no one have mercy on her?" Sweeney exclaims as he shoots up from his seat. Mrs. Lovett stares up at him in awe.

"So it _is_ you! Benjamin Barker!"

"Where's Lucy? Where's my wife?"

**"--Woah!!" I find myself falling flat on my face, looking down at an unfamiliar rug.**

"What the…? Who the bloody hell are you?" **I hear someone yell, sounding an awful lot like Helena's Mrs. Lovett. I quickly look up and see Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett staring down at me in bewilderment. This has to be a dream. I must've stupidly fallen asleep at my laptop. But, if it is a dream, why did it hurt when I landed in Mrs. Lovett's living room? I quickly stand, causing both of them to back away.**

**"Relax! I'm not going to bite!" They exchange glances.**

"She doesn't sound British," **Sweeney mutters.**

**"Well, of course I'm not British," I say to them, trying to gain some confidence.**

"So, wot are yeh? A witch?"

**"Oh, please! Do I look like a witch to you?" They exchange glances again.**

"Well, yeh are dressed rather funny," **Mrs. Lovett points out. I look down at my cloths and then look back at them, shrugging.**

**"What do you expect, Mrs. Lovett? I am from the future, after all," I say, thinking up an idea. They looked shocked.**

"Yeh know me name?" **She asks softly.**

**"Of course I do! You guys are known very well in my time. I guess that's why I was sent here."**

"Sent here for what?" **Sweeney asks quietly. His dark eyes bore into mine. Yeesh, he's scary.**

**"To set things right for the two of you," I turn to Mrs. Lovett, "Now, tell Sweeney Todd about what happened to his wife. Tell him _everything_." I strongly emphasize the word "everything" and stare intently at Mrs. Lovett. She blinks and somewhat blushes when she spots Sweeney staring at her.**

"Well, yer Lucy poisoned 'erself with arsenic shortly ofter th' rape." **She pauses unsurely. I give her an urging look to continue.**

"…she survived th' poisonin', though. It made 'er weak in th' head, it did. The Judge 'ad her sent off t' Bedlam on us one day. Th' police came an' took her by force, poor dear. After they left, th' Judge came an' took baby Johanna away to adopt as 'is own." **Ah, so it was the Judge who had sent Lucy to Bedlam. I look over at Sweeney and see the same hurt look on his face.**

"Where is Lucy now?" **Sweeney asked softly. Mrs. Lovett looks at me and I nod at her to tell him.**

"She's…a beggar on th' streets. I-I can take yeh to her if I can find her Mr. Barker."

"Not Barker," **Sweeney snapped,** "It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd." **I roll my eyes seeing I just said that his name was now Sweeney Todd prior to his declaration. His eyes softened slightly, though, looking grateful as he stepped closer to the baker. God damn it, kiss her already!**

"I would appreciate if you took me to her so I can see her," **He said softly. Mrs. Lovett nodded and looked at me.**

"Before we go anywhere, though, _you're_ changin' into a proper dress." **Again, I stare down at my outfit.**

**"That would be wise, but I don't have anything to change into," I say to her.**

"Come along, I'm sure I 'ave somethin' for you t' wear." **Mrs. Lovett takes me by the arm and leads me upstairs. Well, she feels real enough. Either this is a really bizarre dream or I am literally in the Sweeney Todd movie. Hmm…perhaps this can work to my advantage. I know what is to happen and I already changed the ending by encouraging Mrs. Lovett to tell Sweeney the entire truth. Perhaps I can give them both what they want. The thing is, I just have to hope that I survive to tell the tale!**


	2. Curiousity DIDN'T killed the Lovett

**"Oh my god! How the HELL can you wear this torture device EVERYDAY?" I am finding it very hard to breathe. The corset that Mrs. Lovett has just put on me is suffocating. I hear her "tsk" from behind. I turn and see her holding up my "New England Patriots" t-shirt.**

"'Ow can yeh wear this strange shirt out in public? It looks like a man's shirt, it does!" **I give her a look as I pull on the dress she has let me borrow.**

**"Well, where I'm from, women can dress the way they want. Besides, it's much more comfortable compared to the cloths you must wear," I point out. I watch her pick up my bra and stare at it in complete awe. I try not to laugh, seeing she's acting like it's from outer space.**

"So," **Mrs. Lovett says after a moment,** "Wot would've 'appened if yeh hadn't showed up?" **I look at her for a moment, getting what she's asking. I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell her what she would've done.**

**"You wouldn't have told him everything," I answer as I start to lace up the dress, "You would've told him about Lucy poisoning herself, but not about her being a beggar. You would've allowed him to assume that she had died." Mrs. Lovett looks guilty.**

"I know I'm 'orrible. It's jus' that Lucy 'as changed so much! So 'as he…" **She sighs, dropping my bra,** "Perhaps I wos bein' selfish."

**"Look, this time around, you _did_ tell him the truth. So, don't get upset, okay?" I say cheerfully, thinking about her unfortunate demise that I have just prevented. Woo-hoo! I see her smile gratefully, looking back down and pausing abruptly.**

"Wot th' bloody 'ell is _this_?!" **She exclaims as she picks up my...oh, for the love of God! Flushed, I march over to her quickly.**

**"Give me that!" I snap as I pull what she unfortunately had in her hand away from her curious grasp.**

"Well, wot is it?" **She asks me with raised eyebrows.**

**"It's _underwear_, you moron! You know, bloomers, except much smaller and tighter!"**

"Yeah, I see tha', dearie. Tell me, do all women in your time dress like whores?" **I stare at her for a moment. _Whores???_ Jiminy Cricket! If she thinks _my_ clothes are bad, I can just imagine her reaction if she saw a typical outfit worn by Madonna during one of her concerts!**

**"Like I said before, things are different in my time. You wouldn't want to know what a "whore" in my time looks like," I say while I shake my head slightly. Her look lingers on me before she sighs.**

"Right, well, we should get goin'. Mr. Todd is waitin' for us," **Mrs. Lovett states. I follow her down the stairs, having to hold up the damn skirts. I think I'll dress up like a boy next time we go out.**

* * *

**Mrs. Lovett stops us as she spots Lucy begging for alms. We watch as Sweeney quietly approaches her. I see how anxious Mrs. Lovett looks. I'm equally as anxious. I'm praying that Lucy is nuts so I can try and play cupid for Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. Yes, I'm horrible.**

"Hey, don't I know you mista?" **Lucy sings like she did in the movie. Shit. Sweeney smiles slightly, looking hopeful.**

"It's me, love. It's Ben, your husband," **He says softly. Lucy stares at him for a moment.**

"Ben?" **She questions.**

"Benjamin Barker," **Sweeney answers desperately. Lucy is silent for a moment before she shrugs.**

"Sorry, dearie. Don't know yeh." **Both me and Mrs. Lovett sigh a breath of relief at the same time. I do feel bad for Sweeney, but even if Lucy was sane, I don't think things would work out between them seeing that Sweeney's a psychopathic murderer.**

"But," **Lucy sneers,** "I'll get teh knew yeh betta for some alms…"** Sweeney looks dazed and shocked. Uh-oh…here it comes…**

"'Ow would yeh like a lil' muff, dear?" **She snarls, lunging towards the poor man. Sweeney backs off quickly, actually shooing Lucy away in…disgust? Lucy cackles and runs off. Sweeney marches back over to us, wearing his traditional scowl.**

"I'll kill that Judge for morphing her into that thing," **He growls angrily. Mrs. Lovett cautiously approaches him to comfort him.**

"I'm sorry, dear," **She says softly. Sweeney stares at her with a hard look on his face.**

"You should've let me think that she had died, seeing she virtually _is_ dead," **He grumbles. I can't help but let out a snort when I hear this, causing the two of them to stare at me.**

"What's so funny?"** Sweeney asks, or more like, growls.**

**"Oh, nothing. I just find your words very ironic, that's all," I say casually. Mrs. Lovett looks very nervous and curious. Sweeney grunts and starts to walk off ahead of us.**

"Um, why wos wot 'e said so ironic?" **Mrs. Lovett asks me quietly. Hmm…should I tell her about her demise? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt. It's not like it's going to happen this time around, I suppose.**

**"Well, the thing is, without my interference, he ends up killing Lucy later on," I say quietly. Mrs. Lovett looks shocked and horrified.**

"And?" **She asks quietly, in an almost fearful tone.**

**"Are you sure you want to know?" I ask her. She nods quickly. Well, here goes nothing….**

**"When he realizes who she really is and finds out that you weren't entirely truthful, he…kills you, too." Mrs. Lovett is silent, but her eyes speak for her. They're a mix of shock, relief, and sadness.**

"How does 'e…finish me?" **She whispers softly, barely audible. I take a breath. Sheesh, why would she want to know?**

**"He throws you into your bake oven down in the bake house," I answer. She stares at me blankly for a moment before turning her attention to the man walking ahead of us.**

"I suppose I owe yeh one," **She mutters quietly after a while. I say nothing as I, too, watch Sweeney up ahead of us. Well, hopefully I can give these two the happy ending they deserve. I'll just have to avoid getting made into pies in the process.(God, I can't wait to get out of this stupid dress. My boobs feel like they are going to pop out at any given moment! ARGH!)**


	3. Sweeney Todd Karaoke!

**Sweeney sure is silent. He hasn't said a thing since our return from meeting his "very charming" wife. I perk up when Mrs. Lovett enters the room with the keys to the apartment above. I notice that she's very timid around Sweeney. Well, I guess it didn't help that I told her that he would've thrown her into an oven if I hadn't interfered.**

"Come along," **She says quietly. Sweeney seems to notice her uneasiness because he gives me a confused look as we stand. Wordlessly, we follow Mrs. Lovett out of the pie shop and head up to Sweeney's future slaughter house. Mrs. Lovett hastily unlocks the door, mainly due to Sweeney's close proximity. Oh, for the love of god! Could he stand any closer to her? Mrs. Lovett pushes the old door open and disappears inside. Sweeney starts to follow with me close behind when he abruptly stops, causing me to bump into him.**

**"Move your bod, will ya?!?" I exclaim. I have to push Sweeney inside of the room in order to get by him. He approaches the old crib on the other side of the room like a zombie. I go to say something when I see Mrs. Lovett making her way to the exit.**

**"Woah, where do you think you're going?" I call after her. She turns slightly to speak.**

"Yeh should know where th' razors are," **She says shortly before disappearing from the scene. I roll my eyes in annoyance. Great, how can I get them to fall in love if Mrs. Lovett is afraid of the man? (Although I can't blame her) I sigh and approach where Mrs. Lovett hid the razors. I feel around for the loose board until I find it and pull it out of place. As if on cue, Sweeney is kneeling in front of me. I look up at him to see him in a trance. He better not start singing…**

**"When the cops came for your daughter, _Mrs. Lovett_ hid these for you." Sweeney takes the case from me.**

**"She could've sold them, so be grateful," I say loudly. Sweeney opens the case to reveal really shiny razors.**

**"Yeesh, they really do shine silver, don't they?" I exclaim, shocked by how pretty they actually are.**

"Silver…yes," **Sweeney whispers. Oh, don't you dare…**

_These are my friends…_

**Interesting buddies of yours…**

_See how they glisten…_

**Well, _duh_! They're _razors_!**

_See this one shine…how he smiles in the light…_

**Funny, I don't see a mouth anywhere.**

_My friend…_

**You need help.**

_My faithful friend…_

**What is it, your _wife_?!?**

_Speak to me friend…_

**Oh, come on!**

_Whisper, I'll listen…_

**Whispers: "You're _insane_!"**

_I know, I know…_

**Oh, good! You agree with me, then!**

_You've been locked out of sight all these years…like me, my friend…_

**Gee, now I know _why_ you were transported for life!**

_Well I've come home…to find you waiting…_

**It's an inanimate object, doofus. It can't walk!**

_Home…and we're together…and we'll do wonders…won't we?_

**What, are you going to have _sex_ with it??**

_You there, my friend… _**(**_**Oh my dear god… )**Come let me hold you… **(I am now singing along!)**Now, with a sigh you grow warm in my hand! **(Oh, Mr. Todd, you have serious issues!)**_

_My friend… **(Talk to Fogg!)** My clever friend…! **(He can really help you with your case!)**_

_Rest now, my friend… **(Give me a break, Mr. Todd!)** Soon I'll unfold you… **(That thing is related to a door knob!)** Soon you'll know splendors you never have seen all your days…! **(Can't you see that Mrs. Lovett is your real friend, you dork?) **My lucky friend! **(More than a friend, actually…)** Till now your shine… **(She really loves you!)** 'Twas merely silver… **(Are you even listening to me…Mr. T?)** Friends…you shall drip rubies! **(…)** You'll soon drip precious…rubies…_

**Sweeney slowly turns and looks at me.**

"Leave me," **He whispers.**

**"Well, I take that as a 'no'," I say sarcastically as he turns away and stands up. I watch with some amusement as he holds the razor before him, wearing a sadistic grin on his face.**

"At last! My arm is complete again…"

**"Seriously, dude, you and Edward Scissorhands would get along greatly!" Sweeney swirls around and fixes a glare on me. I roll my eyes in annoyance.**

**"Fine! Be anti-social," I say as I turn and leave the room. I head down to the pie shop to see Mrs. Lovett drinking some Gin.**

"Yeh want some?" **She asks. As much as I'd love to, I know I can't.**

**"No thanks. I'm not of legal drinking age from where I'm from," I respond as I sit across from her. She gives me a confused look before shrugging. She pours herself another glass of Gin.**

**"How are you holding up?" I ask.**

"Holdin' _what _up?"** She questions.**

**"How are you _feeling_? You were in a big rush to leave that room, you know," I point out. Mrs. Lovett sighs, taking a sip of Gin.**

"I know it's not goin' t' happen, but…I can't believe 'e wos goin' t' throw me into an oven…"

**"Well, it won't happen, okay? Relax and have faith!" I say reassuringly. Mrs. Lovett half smiles and takes another sip of Gin. We hear Sweeney coming down the stairs, causing Mrs. Lovett to tense up and guzzle the contents in her glass. He throws open the door dramatically, eyes directly on Mrs. Lovett. Gee, what a way to enter a room, Sweeney!**

"Mrs. Lovett, do you know who the local barber is?" **He asks, short of breath. Mrs. Lovett stands and faces him, trying to act normal and not edgy.**

"Yeah, 'is name is Pirelli. He'll be in th' market on Thursday," **She says quietly. Sweeney regards her for a moment.**

"Are you alright?" **He asks. Wow! Sweeney is actually showing concern! What a historical finding!**

"I'm fine," **Mrs. Lovett says in an almost convincing tone. Sweeney eyes her for a minute before getting back on subject.**

"I'm going to challenge him that day. I'm going to need _both _of you to help me get me shop ready before Thursday. I know I'm going to beat him, so I want my business to be ready when I do," **Sweeney states. Mrs. Lovett smiles slightly and nods.**

"Alright, dear. We'll help yeh," **She says kindly. Sweeney looks at me.**

**"Sure! Got nothing better to do, anyway," I say. Sweeney nods and leaves for his room. Mrs. Lovett quickly retreats to the parlor with her jug of Gin. Yeesh, this is going to be harder than I thought!**


	4. Piss in a Bottle

**Oh, how I wish I had my car right now. We've been walking for thirty minutes to get to the market. Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett don't seem fazed by the walk, probably because they are used to it. Well, thankfully I'm dressed up like a boy this time around.**

**"How much longer?" I ask after a while. Sweeney ignores me completely, no surprise. Mrs. Lovett turns slightly and mutters something along the lines of "We'll get there when we get there". Wow, these two would win awards for their "outstanding" people skills. We round a corner and find ourselves at the market. Finally! I see Sweeney turn and give me a hard look. Great, what did I do to piss him off now? Seriously, he's worse than a woman PMS-ing!**

"You are not to speak," **He growls darkly,** "You're accent is too foreign and you might give away your true sex if you do." **I give him a look.**

**"Let me point something out to you. Your little sailor friend, Anthony, looks more girly than me and I _am_ a woman! Besides, I can make my voice deeper and I can fake a British accent." Sweeney narrows his eyes.**

"Not a word,"** He whispers. Oh, I give up! I nod and all three of us head into the crowd. On cue, the Beatle shows up and Sweeney looks like he's going to charge at him. Thankfully, Mrs. Lovett stops him and gives him a weary look. He backs off, but he keeps his eye on the Beatle.**

_Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention perlease?_

**Oh no, another song. Hopefully, Mrs. Lovett will sing or I'll have to fill her role again! I don't think Sweeney will be very happy about that.**

_Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair?_

_Wot ought not to be there?_

**"No," I say accidently, causing Sweeney to give me the look of death. Toby looks in our direction and suddenly stops singing. He's staring directly at me and has a hazy look on his face….Oh, shit. I know that look. Either Toby's gay, or he knows I'm a woman. Sweeney, seeing the look Toby's giving me, stands in front of me to hide his view. Clearing his throat, Toby continues to sing.**

_Well, ladies and gentlemen, for now on you can awaken at ease!_

_You will never again have a worry or care._

_I will show you a miracle marvel that's rare!_

**I notice how Sweeney's moving in front of me back and forth, so I'm guessing that Toby's trying to look at me again. I hear Mrs. Lovett giggling at how ridiculous Sweeney must look. She quickly stops when Sweeney glares at her. I chuckle and he kicks my shin lightly with the back of his foot.**

_Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see somethin' wot rose from the dead…_

_On the top of me head!_

**I hear the crowd laugh. Well, at least this song is half way done.**

'_Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir._

_That's wot did the trick, sir._

_True, sir, true._

_Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir._

_Just like an elixir ought to do._

_How about a bottle, mister?_

_Only cost a penny guaranteed._

**Toby sees me again and smiles shyly at me. Great. Not only am I too old for him, I'm not even from this time AND I'm dressed up like a man! Sweeney quickly stands in front of me again because Toby's just standing there like a deer in headlights.**

_Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?_

_You can have my oath, sir, 'tis unique._

_Rub a minute, stimulatin' in'nit?_

_Soon you'll have to thin it once a week._

_Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?_

_Are we standin' near an open drench?_

**"Are we standing near an open drench?" I say loudly to a man near me. He gives me a funny look. Oh, crap, I forgot to do the accent. Thankfully, my two deranged love birds are too caught up in the scene to notice.**

_Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir!_

_Anything more slick, sir?_

_Soon sprouts curls._

_Try Pirelli's!_

_When they see how thick, sir, you can have your pick, sir, off the girls!_

_Wonna buy a bottle, mister--?_

_What is this?_

**"It's piss!" I yell loudly in a British accent, holding up my bottle.**

**"Take a good whiff, sir. Wot does it smell like to yeh?" I ask as I hand my bottle to the man beside me. He wrinkles his nose after smelling the fumes.**

_This is piss, piss with ink._

**Thank you, Captain Obvious!**

_Let Pirelli's activate your root, sir!_

_Keep it off your boot, sir. Eats right through._

_Yes, try Pirelli's!_

_Use a bottle of it!_

_Ladies seem to love it!_

"Flies do, too!" **Mrs. Lovett yells. Everyone laughs at her comment until Pirelli makes his dramatic appearance. Oh, wonderful! Another song! I'm sitting this one out…**

* * *

**With no surprise at all, we all leave the market in victory. Sweeney is too lost in thought to be broody and Mrs. Lovett is too lost in her thoughts about Sweeney to be acting timid. Well, I have an idea about what to do about Toby when Pirelli is gutted. I'll try to talk Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett into telling him the truth about his old master and Sweeney's revenge plan. I may be able to prevent the outcome after "A Little Priest" by having Toby know everything. Besides, I may need his help with getting Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett together. After all, meddling kids are the key when it comes to match-making.**


	5. Fed Up

**Sheesh! It's been two days since Sweeney showed up Pirelli and that little phony hasn't showed up, yet! It's been Hell lately because of Sweeney's dumb mood swings. Whenever Mrs. Lovett or I try to talk to him in one of his moods, he bites our heads off. Mrs. Lovett usually flees immediately and I only flee after he pulls out his razor. He's worse than a woman P.M.S.-ing.**

"Oy," **I hear someone say behind me. I turn and see that it's Mrs. Lovett.**

**"What's up?" I ask. She gives me a confused look.**

"I dunno…the ceiling?"

**"Ugh…" I roll my eyes. I mean, really, you'd think she'd get used to the way I talk by now, "When I say 'what's up', I mean 'what's going on'. Okay?"**

"Well, why don't yeh jus' say that?" **Mrs. Lovett asks, looking annoyed.**

**"Because it's easier to say 'what's up'! Yeesh!" I need someone to remind me to never watch _Sweeney Todd_ on my lap top ever again when I finally get back from this.**

"Dear, can yeh bring Mr. Todd up 'is lunch for me?" **Mrs. Lovett asks abruptly. I look at her and she's doing an awful job in hiding the fact that she's afraid to go and see him.**

**"Why can't you do it?"**

"I'm busy," **She replies lamely. I give her a look along with a small grin.**

**"Busy making the 'worst pies in London'? I highly doubt that." I say to her. She looks at me desperately.**

"Please, Meg. He's in one of 'is bloody moods again!"

**"Mrs. Lovett, who owns this building?" I ask suddenly, crossing my arms. She stares at me, dumbfounded.**

"Wot?"

**"Who owns this building?" I ask more firmly.**

"…I do…"

**"That's right. _You_ do. Not Mr. Pissy-Pants upstairs. You need to put your foot down, my friend. Don't let him intimidate you." Mrs. Lovett glances nervously up at the ceiling.**

"'Ow can I? Yeh told me that he threw me into me own oven in a possible future. Wot if 'e gets mad an' kills me?"

**"This reality is different than the one he killed you in. I know he won't harm you, unless you allow him to." Mrs. Lovett was silent for the longest time. Suddenly, her face changed from unsure to confident…extremely confident…oh, boy….**

"Yer right, love. I've 'ad enough of 'is moods. Not only am I going to give 'im his lunch, I'm going to give 'im a piece of me mind." **With that said, Mrs. Lovett marched out of the parlor. Oh, shit. What have I gotten her into? I quickly pursue, but by the time I get outside, Mrs. Lovett is already opening the door to Sweeney's shop. I dash up the stairs and peek through the window.**

"Lunch," **Mrs. Lovett said sharply. Sweeney, who was facing the large window, slowly turned and faced Mrs. Lovett. He looked confused.**

"What's with you, pet?" **He asked very softly. It's a wonder I managed to hear him though the closed door. Mrs. Lovett stared dead on into his eyes. Wow, this is progress for her. I just hope she doesn't push it.**

"We need t' talk, Mr. Todd."

"About what?" **Sweeney asked, even sounding confused.**

"About yer lil' mood swings. I don't appreciate that whenever Meg or I try t' talk to you, yeh blow up at us! Especially at me! I could see th' girl, but me?!?" **Nicely said—waaiit a minute…**

"Mrs. Lovett--"

"Stuff it, Mr. Todd; I'm not done, yet." **The look on Sweeney's face must be mirroring mine. I can't believe she said that!**

"Yeh show up at _me home_ and I welcome yeh with open arms. I even give yer old room an' razors back to yeh! An' how do yeh repay me?!? By bein' a bleedin' _arse_!"** As Mrs. Lovett said this, she stalked towards Sweeney. What surprised me was that he backed away until he was up against the wall.**

"I've had it with your behavior. I'm sorry that th' Judge fucked up your life, but tha' doesn't give yeh the right to take your anger out on me. I. Own. This. Building." **She jabbed her finger into his chest with every emphasized word, making him flinched slightly. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape. I put my hand on the door knob, just in case Sweeney flips out after Mrs. Lovett's rant.**

"Tha' means that I'm yer landlady, even if yer not payin' me. I want you t' treat me with respect. That means no more yellin' or threatening anymore. Do you understand?" **The two stared at each other for the longest time. I kept a cautious eye on Sweeney. He face went from shocked to his usual expression. As for Mrs. Lovett, her face went from fuming to "Oh, shit…".**

"I understand, pet,"** Sweeney said quietly. Mrs. Lovett quickly backed away from him, looking timid.**

"R-right. Th-thank you fer listening." **Before I knew it, the door when crashing into my nose as Mrs. Lovett hastily pushed it open to flee the shop. Holding my nose, I glance at Sweeney as the door closes. His eyes followed Lovett until she disappeared completely from his sight. He then turned his eyes on me. Yeah, I should skidaddle.**

**"Toodles!" I say quickly before pursuing Mrs. Lovett. When I enter the shop, Mrs. Lovett is nowhere in sight. Sighing, I head for the sink and dampen a clean cloth for my nose. Thank god it isn't bleeding. When I enter the parlor, Mrs. Lovett is drinking a bottle of Gin, looking like a deer in headlights as she stares off into space. She notices me as I sit beside her.**

"Wot happened to yer nose?" She mutters.

**"The door happened to it when you opened it to leave Sweeney's shop." Mrs. Lovett looks guilty, "It's alright. I've had worse than this." I say quickly. She relaxes slightly before diving into the bottle again.**

"You were watchin', weren't yeh?" **She asked after a while.**

**"Yeah. You did well." Mrs. Lovett takes another swing.**

"He's furious," **She mutters.**

**"How do you know? He didn't look mad, just shocked." Mrs. Lovett shakes her head.**

"He's mad, I know it," **She states.**

**"If he is, then he is. Don't worry about it. He deserved what he got. He'll get over it." I say reassuringly. Mrs. Lovett glances at me before staring off into space again.**

"Hope yer right, love."


	6. Surprising Talk & Surprising News

**I sit down in the arm chair by the fire comfortably. Tomorrow's Tuesday, so Pirelli should be here very soon. Thank god! I look over at Mrs. Lovett. She's reading a romance novel, or pretending to, at least. I can tell that she's still nervous about Sweeney. She had me bring his dinner up earlier. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not, but he seemed disappointed that I was the one bringing up his food. Perhaps he'll pay Mrs. Lovett a visit this evening. If he does, hopefully, it'll be for the best and not the worst.**

"Wot's it like in yer time, love?" **Mrs. Lovett asks suddenly, putting her book down and turning her attention on me.**

**"Well, it's not much different from this time when it comes to the economy. The stock market is in a recession. It's not only affecting the United States, either," I say as I stretch in my seat.**

"So, you're an American?"

**"Yeah, I live in New England, actually." We don't say much after that. I just think that she wanted to break the silence. She turns back to her book, but still looks uneasy about something. It's then that we both hear the shop door open along with the bell. Mrs. Lovett quickly puts her book down when Sweeney appears at the entrance of the parlor.**

"I'd like to have a word with you," **Sweeney says to Mrs. Lovett, looking directly at her. He turns to me, "Alone." I get up and go upstairs to the second floor apartment. I stay right at the edge of the stairs so I can hear what's going on.**

"Have a seat, dear," **I hear Mrs. Lovett say. She's trying to not show her uneasiness, but I can hear it in her voice. Sheesh, she's gotta stay strong! With how Sweeney is, she shouldn't be showing any signs of weakness.**

"Wot do yeh want to talk about, Mr. T?"** She asks.**

"I want to talk about the incident this afternoon." **Even though I can't see them, I can guarantee that Mrs. Lovett is tensing up at this very moment.**

"Mr. Todd, I--"

"There's no need to apologies, pet," **Sweeney interrupts,** "I'm not angry at you for putting your foot down. I have been being disrespectful to you lately and I came down here to apologies to you." **Silence follows for a moment. Even I am shocked that he apologized!**

"Yer apology is accepted, dear,"** Mrs. Lovett says softly. After a moment of silence, I hear footsteps and the shop door. Sweeney left. I hear Mrs. Lovett sigh.**

"Come on down, love," **She calls to me. I head down the stairs, wearing a grin.**

**"I told you he wouldn't be angry." She smiles slightly, looking relieved.**

"Thank you." **I stare at her, confused.**

**"Why are you thanking me?" I ask.**

"I'm thankin' you because you encouraged me to stand up to 'im and it worked out for th' best."

**"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" I say cheerfully, taking back my seat. Mrs. Lovett watches me without speaking for a moment.**

"Will you be able to go back to yer time after you've finished helpin' us?" **She asks softly. I stare back at her. I've been thinking about that a lot. I'm hoping that'll be the case. I don't know if time has passed like it has down here or if I'm just unconscious in front of my laptop. I don't know if my family and friends are missing me right now, or if I'm in a hospital in some weird coma. For all I know, someone could be having surgery done on my brain at this very moment!**

**"I hope so," I say, trying to dismiss that thought from my mind.**

"I'm sure you will,"** Mrs. Lovett says reassuringly to me, wearing a warm smile. I return it.**

**"Tomorrow is going to be a big day," I say to her.**

"It is?" **She asks. My smile widens.**

**"Yes. Pirelli and the boy will be coming tomorrow… and so will the Judge." Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened slightly.**

"The Judge? Will Sweeney kill 'im?" **She asks anxiously.**

**"How it happened originally, no. Anthony, the sailor boy, will interrupt right when Sweeney's about to go for the kill," I answer. Mrs. Lovett looks confused when I mentioned Anthony, "Anthony is the dude who helped Sweeney get back to London. He's in love with Johanna and wants you guys to help him free her from the Judge."**

"Bloody hell," **Mrs. Lovett mutters,** "All o' that happenin' tomorrow?"** She asks.**

**"Yes, and we're going to let things play out uninterrupted." Mrs. Lovett stares at me like I have two heads.**

"Wot?" **She exclaims.**

**"That's right. We'll let Anthony interrupt the Judge's 'shave'. I'll go upstairs and take your place during Sweeney's temper tantrum. When he calms down, I'll tell all three of you my plan to get the Judge." Mrs. Lovett blinks.**

"All _three_ of us?"

**"Yeah," I say, grinning, "You, Sweeney and Pirelli's boy, Toby." Mrs. Lovett is speechless. She stares at me, opening her mouth like she's going to speak, but closing it with tight lips. I wait patiently for her to speak.**

"…wot 'appends to Pirelli?" **She whispers.**

**"You'll have to find out for yourself," I state. She looks like she's about to argue, "Just trust me, okay? After Sweeney's 'epiphany', I'll let you all in on the plan. Be patient until then. Ka-peesh?"**

"'Ka-peesh'?!? Wot th' bloody hell--"

**"_Alright_??" Mrs. Lovett is silent for a moment, keeping her eyes on me for the longest time.**

"Alright, but yeh better keep to yer word."

**"I assure you that I will," I say calmly. Mrs. Lovett nods and takes a seat back on the couch, picking up her book. I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling. I hope I'm not making a mistake by doing this….**


	7. Anticipation

**Time seems to have slowed down since I came up with my (hopefully) ingenious plan yesterday. I'm sitting in Sweeney's chair right now while Mrs. Lovett is tending the shop. I know I'll have to take over her roll for the "Wait" song, but that's not a big deal. "Epiphany", however, will be a completely different story.**

"Why doesn't the Beadle come? Before the week is out…that's what he said," **Sweeney mutters.**

**"Dude, it's only Tuesday," I say in a laid back tone. Sweeney glares at me and flings the razor sharpener across the room. Rolling my eyes, I stand up and watch him pace around the room like a caged animal.**

**"My god, are two years old? Lighten up and be patient, okay?"**

"I've been being patient for _fifteen_ bloody years, girl," **Sweeney growls in a sad attempt to make me piss my pants. All I do is raise my eyebrows.**

**"Well, be more patient," I say flatly. Sweeney's look lingers on me until the door of his shop bursts open, causing us both to jump.**

"Mr. Todd, I need your help," **exclaims "The Thing" dramatically.**

"Come on in, lad. Sit down."** Sweeney bravely touches it and leads it to the barber's chair. I play with a strand of my hair as "The Thing" explains his problem and asks for Sweeney's help. Sweeney, of course, looks like a lost puppy when it mentions Johanna, so I cut into the conversation.**

**"Yeah, she can stay here," I say, making my voice deeper and giving myself an accent. "The Thing" turns and looks at me with slight confusion.**

"May I ask who you are, sir?"

**"Ah, I'm jus' a good friend of Mrs. Lovett from below. The name's Daniel Hammond, but you can call me Danny," I say in a cockney accent. "The Thing" seems completely convinced and offers his hand to me.**

"A pleasure, Danny. I am Anthony Hope." **I take his hand and return the smile, hoping that he doesn't notice my long fingernails. "The Thing" looks back to Sweeney with pleading eyes.**

"Can I bring her here, sir?"** Sweeney nods after a moment, causing Anthony to grin and go bolting out of the shop. I turn my attention to the barber, who is as still as a statue.**

**"Don't worry. He'll take good care of her," I say with a wink. Sweeney looks at me wearing the "lost puppy" look. I smile at him and turn to leave.**

"Where are you going?"** He asks. I turn slightly to glance at him.**

**"I'm going to see if Mrs. Lovett needs a hand." Sweeney nods and I leave the shop. Mrs. Lovett is already coming out to talk to Pirelli. I quickly run down the stairs to meet up with them.**

"Is Meester Tood eevailable?" **'Mr. TODD', you moron!**

**"Yes, sir. Right up th' stairs," I say to him. I see Toby in the corner of my eye watching me suspiciously. Mrs. Lovett smiles lovingly at the boy before glaring at Pirelli.**

"Do yeh mind if I give yer helper a nice, warm meat pie while 'e waits for yeh?" **Mrs. Lovett asks. Pirelli nods in a distracted manner before pushing by us to see Mr. Todd. The second he's out of sight, I pull Mrs. Lovett and Toby inside the Pie Shop hastily.**

**"Okay, Toby," I say, looking at him, "Mr. Todd is going to kill your master in a matter of minutes." Yeah, that sounded way too casual. Both Mrs. Lovett and Toby stare at me as if I have two heads.**

"Wh-why?" **Toby mutters after a while.**

**"Because your master is going to attempt to blackmail Mr. Todd," I say simply. The boy still looks confused. I sigh slightly, "Look, I know this is all very confusing right now, but I need both of you to trust me. I'll explain more later." It is then that we all hear banging from upstairs.**

**"There's my cue! Mrs. Lovett, keep an eye on Toby, will ya?" With that said, I go up to the barber's shop. When I enter, I see a dead Pirelli on the floor and a stunned-looking Sweeney Todd. I try to keep my composure, but I'm having a hard time with that.**

**"He's still alive," I manage to spit out, "You know what to do." Sweeney stares at me for a moment before taking out his razor. I look away when he lifts Pirelli's neck up. I cringe at the sound that Pirelli makes. After a minute, there's nothing but silence.**

**"Put him in that crate over there. The Judge should be here shortly," I say when I finally face Sweeney. His eyes widen when I mention the Judge. Hastily, Sweeney picks up the corpse and dumps it inside of the crate by the door. He then quickly cleans the floor and throws on a jacket to hide his blood stained shirt.**

"Get out," **He whispers.**

**"No telling me twice!" I exclaim as a make like a tree and leave. I pass the Judge as I head for the pie shop. He barely acknowledges me as he heads up the stairs. I feel my heart pounding with anticipation. I enter the pie shop to see Mrs. Lovett and Toby eating some pies.**

**"In a few minutes," I say as I take a seat, "The sailor thing is going to interrupt the Judge's shave. When Sweeney yells, _I'm_ going to head upstairs." Mrs. Lovett casts me a concerned look while Toby casts me a confused look.**

**"I'll be fine, okay?"**

"Yeh better be right, dear. I'm growin' fond of you, yeh know..." **Mrs. Lovett says softly. I smile at her, touched by her words. In silence, we sit in wait. I keep my eyes on the window, waiting for Anthony to make his appearance. After a minute, I see him dashing up the stairs for Sweeney's shop. We all sit very still, hearing the Judge's muffle, angry voice. It doesn't take long to see the Judge come barreling down the stairs. Another couple of seconds pass, and then it came.**

"OUT!!!"

**I take a breath, this is it.**


	8. Getting to the Point

**"You had him, didn't you?" I ask as I barge into Sweeney's shop. He stares at me for a second before slowly looking away. Sheesh, this is going to be fun…**

"I had 'im," **He whispers. I take a breath.**

**"Well, if you will hear me out, I have a--"**

"I HAD HIM! His throat was bear beneath hand…"

**"Yeah, I get that! Will you just shut up for a moment?"**

"NO, I HAD HIM!"

**"No shit."**

"His throat was there, now he'll never come again!"

_**Cool your jets, Sweeney Todd! Will you just listen--?**_

"WHEN?!?"

_**Right now would be nice!**_

"Why did I wait? YOU told me to wait! Now he'll never come again!" **Sweeney snarls, glaring at me. Although I'm a bit afraid, I keep it together by giving him a look.**

**"Never say never, buddy," I say calmly. He stares at me for a moment before turning away.**

_There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit--_

**"Wow. Talk about major constipation."**

_--and the vermin of the world inhabit it…_

**"Yeah, they're called flies!"**

…_but not for long…_

**Sweeney begins to pace as he glares out the window, just like he did in the movie. This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, let's hope I survive this song so I can set my plan in motion!**

_They all deserve to die. Tell you why, my dear Megan, tell you why._

**"'My dear Megan'?!? Well, at least you're being polite for once…"**

_Because in all of the whole human race, my lamb, there are two kinds of men and only two!_

**"Actually, there are many kinds of men in the world. There are white men, black men, Asian men, and crazy men like you!"**

_There's the one stayin' put in his proper face and the one with his foot in the other one's face. Look at me, my pet, look at you!_

**"Dude, I'm a woman."**

_No we all deserve to die… _**(it's at this moment that my crazy lil' friend slams me up against the wall like he did to Mrs. Lovett in the movie)** _Even you, my dear Megan, even I._

**"No one has to die (except for the Judge and Beadle, obviously) if you shut up and listen to my plan!" I say to Sweeney as he holds me against the wall. Judging by the look in his eyes, he's not all there. Great. I'll have to wait until he finishes the song!**

_Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief! For the rest of us, death will be relief! We all deserve to die!_

**"Well, what would be the point in living if everyone deserves to die?" I ask casually as Sweeney holds his too-close-for-comfort razor up to my throat. Sweeney pauses. Yes! I think I've gotten through to him!**

_And I'll never see Johanna… _**(Oh, for the love of GOD!)** _…no, I'll never hug my girl to me… FINISHED!_

**Great, the song is only halfway done. Well, at least he hasn't killed me…yet…. I stay in the chair and cautiously watch Sweeney as he begins the "I'm so totally crazy" bit of the song.**

_Alright! You, sir! How about a shave?_

**"Um, I think I'll pass…"**

_Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You, sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave!_

**"Yes, the phrase 'Welcome to the Grave' will really attract the customers! Good luck with that!"**

_I will have vengeance…_

**"I have a plan."**

_I will have salvation…!_

**"My god! It's like I'm talking to a brick wall!"**

_Who, sir? You, sir? No one's in the chair. Come on, come on!_

**"Well, gee! I wonder _why_ no one's in your chair?"**

_Sweeney's waiting…I want you bleeders…_

**"That's why."**

_You, sir. ANYBODY! Gentlemen, now don't be shy._

**"They're not shy, fool. They're afraid of you!"**

_Not one man . No, nor ten men nor a hundred can assuage me. I will have you!_

**"And you'll be arrested before you could kill the Judge because of your deranged logic!"**

_And I will get him back, even as he gloats! In the mean time, I'll practice on less honorable throats._

**"Uh, no need for that, dearie! I have a plan!"**

_And my Lucy lies in ashes!_

**"WAAIIT a minute!" I bellow, actually causing Sweeney to pause from his singing.**

"What?" **He asks me.**

**"Lucy isn't lying in ashes. She may be lying on some rich guy right now for money, but she's certainly not lying in ashes, silly. She's alive, remember?" Sweeney stares at me for a moment in deep thought.**

"Well, she may be alive, but she's not the woman she used to be. Because of the Judge, she poisoned herself and became a crazy beggar. So, figuratively speaking, she is dead. Get my drift?" **Sweeney explains, having a "Rupert Giles" moment. I think about it and I' guess he has a point.**

**"Yeah, I guess so. Carry on."**

_And I'll never see my girl again! But the work waits! I'm alive at last! And I'm full of joy…!_

**Sweeney has himself on his knees with his arms spread wide. I stare at him for a moment before standing up. Well, the song is officially over. Hopefully, he'll finally listen to me now that his little tantrum is over with.**

**"Are you quite done?" I ask. Sweeney blinks, looking up at me. He slowly lowers his arms and looks to the floor.**

"Yes," **He mutters.**

**"Good. Now, come with me. I need to fill you and the others in on my plan to get the Judge and Beadle here without having to kill half of London in the process!" I say as I offer my hand to Sweeney. He looks up at me and finally takes my hand to pull himself to his feet. We slowly go down the stairs to the pie shop. Sweeney has this dazed look on his face like he did in the movie. Hopefully, my plan will cheer him up some. We enter the pie shop to see that Mrs. Lovett and Toby had stayed in their seats since I last saw them. They both looked uneasy, but Mrs. Lovett welcomed us with a warm smile.**

"Have a seat, loves. I'll yeh all a tot of Gin!" **Before I can tell her that I'm too young to drink, Mrs. Lovett dashes off into the parlor. You know what? The hell with it! I'm in a different time with different rules! If a tot of Gin will help me get through this weird nightmare, then so be it!**

"Here you are," **Mrs. Lovett announces cheerfully as she gives us all a big mug of the clear beverage. I grab my jug and take a large gulp, which was a bad idea. I almost spit the stuff out because of its strong taste, but I force myself to swallow. When I regain my composure, I see that the three of them are staring at me expectantly.**

"So, wot's th' plan, Meg?" **Mrs. Lovett asks quietly.**

**"The plan is simple; we use Anthony and Johanna as bait to get the Judge and Beadle to come here," I say calmly, feeling a bit light-headed from the alcohol.**

"And how are we going to do that?" **Sweeney asks gruffly.**

**"As we speak, the Judge is arranging that Johanna is to be taken to Fogg's Asylum so she can't be with Anthony. We are going to help Anthony break her out and we're also going to help them flee the country. Then, after they're long gone, we'll send the Judge and Beadle a letter telling them that Anthony is going to be hiding Johanna at your Barber's Shop. When you get them inside your shop, they'll be yours to deal with." I take another sip of my gin, wincing from the taste. Sweeney has an expressionless look on his face while Toby is staring at me with wide eyes.**

"He's gonna kill them?" **The boy asks me.**

**"Yes, but they deserve it. More than you know. If you thought your old master was a prick, you'd be amazed by how evil the Judge and Beadle really are in comparison." Toby stares at me for a moment before looking down to his hands.**

"This is all very well, but how are we goin' to dispose of them bodies?" **Mrs. Lovett asks.**

**"Simple, we bake them into meat pies. Starting with Pirelli." All three of them stare at me as if I ate my own arm. I give Mrs. Lovett a look.**

**"Hey, it was you who originally came up with this plan, you know," I state. Mrs. Lovett blinks before looking away. I can tell that she's thinking it through because a very slight grin forms on her face.**

"Well, I suppose it's fitting. Those above servin' those down below, eh?" **She gives Sweeney a wicked grin, in which he returns. I look at Toby, whose face is unusually blank.**

**"Look, I know this doesn't seem right, but the Judge and Beadle have done many innocent people wrong. Both have molested defenseless women and both have sent innocent people to either prison or to their deaths. The only people Mrs. Lovett with be cooking into pies are the Judge, the Beadle, and Pirelli. You gotta trust me, Toby." Slowly, Toby looks at me. It's hard to tell what he's thinking at first. I can tell that he's thinking it through. He then looks at Mrs. Lovett.**

"Can I help yeh butcher 'em, ma'am?" **He asks quietly. Mrs. Lovett looks a bit shocked.**

"I want to help," **Toby states, allowing a small smile to form. Mrs. Lovett, after a moment, smiles warmly back at him.**

"Of course you can, dear. C'mon, let's get that crate from upstairs. We'll get started t'night." **Sweeney and I watched Mrs. Lovett and Toby leave the shop to fetch Pirelli. I look at Sweeney, noticing that his gaze is still on Mrs. Lovett until she disappears from sight. I try not to grin when he looks at me.**

**"The Pirelli pies should be enough to get her business booming again. That may also help attract the Beadle, at least, to come by on his own. You're probably going to have to help Mrs. Lovett buy normal meat for her pies until we can set our plan in motion," I say to Sweeney as I take another sip of gin. Other than the stinging, this isn't half bad!**

"Of course," **Sweeney says quietly. He gets up and starts to head for the door.**

**"Where are you going?" I ask.**

"I'm going to help Mrs. Lovett and the boy with the body. Care to join me?"

"Um, no thanks. I don't feel comfortable about butchering a body. I'm just here to help set things straight, you know." **Sweeney smiles slightly at me before leaving for his shop. I smile, feeling very triumphant. Things are working out better than I thought. Hopefully, all will go according to plan when it comes to Sweeney's revenge. As soon as that's over with, I can get to work on the hard part of my mission: getting Sweeney Todd and Eleanor Lovett to fall in love.**


	9. A Glitch in the Plan

**It has been over a year since I've been sucked into the world of Sweeney Todd. Christmas happened a few days ago. Yeesh, I can't believe how much time has passed. The movie makes everything seem so quick! Something isn't right, though. I highly doubt it took Anthony THIS long to discover that Johanna was stuffed into a mad house by Judge Turpin. I am beginning to think that my presence here has literally fucked up the timeline. For all I know, the Judge had her shipped off to another place that I am not aware of. I rub my head in frustration as I watch Sweeney shave another customer. My plan for his growing love for his landlady has been going nowhere as well. The thing with him is that he focuses WAY too much on getting revenge. Yes, he did get the Beadle, but the Judge is still beyond his grasp. If Anthony doesn't turn up soon, then I'll have to come up with a different plan. The thing is, I'm not sure that I can.**

"Come again," **Sweeney sighs, watching his satisfied customer leave his parlor. I glance at the door as it closes. Sweeney turns his gaze on me.**

**"Let me guess. You're wondering if it took Anthony this long to come to you in the original timeline?" I drawl. Sweeney looks away, silently answering my question. I smile slightly, standing up.**

**"To be completely honest with you, I do not know." The barber's eyes shoot into mine.**

"What do you mean?" **He growls. I shrug.**

**"How I saw your lives in my time is an iffy thing. Things were sped up, like how time passes in a book. The space between two chapters could vary from a few minutes to a few months. I'll tell you one thing, though…" I walk past Sweeney and stare out the window, pausing for a moment from my speech. I'm hoping that he won't react too badly to what I'm about to say, "…I think my interference has altered the events of this time."**

**Sweeney stands beside me as I stare out the window. This takes me a bit by surprise, seeing I expected him to blow a gasket or somethin'.**

"How so?" **He questions quietly.**

**"Well, you killed the Beadle in a matter of weeks since I hatched my plan to you and the others. The thing is, Anthony was supposed to show up BEFORE you killed him."**

"And the Judge was meant to die shortly after the Beadle?"

**"Yes, on the exact same night. Clearly, that has not happened now."**

**Sweeney grunts and walks away from me. I turn and watch him begin to sharpen his razor. It's hard to tell what he's thinking. I just hope that he doesn't decide to make me his next victim.**

"How is Mrs. Lovett doing?"

**I blink. Totally wasn't expecting THAT one.**

**"She's good," I answer unsurely, "Her business is doing very well."**

**Sweeney nods, looking less intense. I watch him curiously, allowing a small grin to form across my face. Perhaps y match-making plan is working after all. Come to think of it, Sweeney has been a lot nicer towards Mrs. Lovett since I hatched my plan to them back in March. If only my "other" plan was going as well.**

"I don't care that the timeline is messed up," **Sweeney stated suddenly, causing me to jump. When I look at him, he's staring directly at me.**

**"You don't?"**

"No," **Sweeney answers, **"You showing up alone has changed the timeline, probably for the best."

**I give him a confused look. Frankly, I was expecting him to be all pissy because of my presence messing up his revenge. According to what I've hinted to him, the Judge and Beadle should've been long dead by now. Then again, unknown to Sweeney, he and Mrs. Lovett would be dead as well, which is NOT what I want to happen.**

**"Why do you say that?" I finally ask. Sweeney smirks, which sends shivers down my spine.**

"Because if the Judge and Beadle "disappeared" around the same time, people would notice and would become suspicious of us. However, seeing the Beadle has been gone for months, the public has long forgotten and so has the Judge, making him as good as mine."

**"How will you get the Judge if Anthony doesn't come like he's suppose to?"**

"Simple," **Sweeney says quietly, his smirk morphing into a sadistic grin,** "Use that brilliant mind of yours to come up with another plan." **I feel myself turn white.**

**"Another plan?" I manage to say.**

"Yes. Surely you DO have another plan in mind, don't you?" **Sweeney asks softly, although there's a hint of a growl in his voice. I straighten myself up as much as possible, hoping that he doesn't notice how uneasy I am.**

**"I'm thinking of one."**

"Good," **He whispers, finally looking away from me. I watch him as he stands by the window. Great. I'm screwed. I now have no choice but to come up with another plan to get the Judge. Sweeney is expecting it. I don't know how much time I have to come up with one. Judging by how Sweeney is acting, I don't have a lot. Wonderful. What am I to--**

"Megan."

**I jump slightly, turning to look at Sweeney. He has his back to me but I see his reflection in the window staring intently at me.**

"I am grateful for your efforts to help me. Don't think that I'm not," **He says quietly. I say nothing. I wasn't expecting that. His reflection looks away from me.**

"I wish to be left alone."

**I quickly oblige. As I go down the stairs, I think about what Sweeney had just said to me moments ago. Perhaps he isn't planning on threatening my life anytime soon. That thought alone makes me feel more at ease.**


	10. Look What I Caught! A Sailor!

**Toby and I are walking down the busy streets of London, running an errand for Mrs. Lovett. Although I was dressed like a boy when Toby first saw me, he knew I was a woman and it's clear that he has a little crush on me. Wonderful. I steal a glance only to catch that he was looking at me. He quickly looks ahead. I chuckle. Toby nervously glances at me.**

"Wot's so funny?"

**"Nothin'," I mutter, still wearing a small grin. I must admit that I am surprised that Toby is going along with my plan in fixing Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett up. In the movie, I was under the impression that Toby hated Sweeney. Then again, my presence here has changed a lot, especially the timeline. I still need to figure out where I can find Anthony. He alone may be the only person who could set things in motion. I do believe that Johanna is at Fogg's. The thing is, it's taking longer for my dear sailor to find her in this timeline than in the movie's timeline. So, as Toby and I make our way to the butcher's I keep my eyes peeled for Anthony. Surely we'll run into him eventually…**

**"OUCH!"**

**I fall back slightly, being supported by Toby. Leave it to me to walk into random things while I scheme. I look to what I bumped into and…oh my god, it's Anthony! He looks like Hell, not even looking at me and Toby as he gathers his things. Good, he's still looking for Johanna. It's a good thing I tagged along with Toby!**

**"Anthony," I state. He looks up at me and his eyes widened slightly.**

"Danny! It's you!" **He quickly gets to his feet and shakes my hand. Toby looks a bit jealous. Oh, for god sakes! I'm dressed like a man! Anthony obviously can't tell I'm a woman. I wonder if he's really a girl and doesn't know it…**

**"Mr. Todd and I 'aven't seen you in ages!" I exclaim, keeping my voice deep and British. Anthony looks crestfallen.**

"Oh, I'm sorry for being scarce. I've been looking all over for Johanna. That awful Judge had her sent away and I can't find her."

**"I'm sorry to hear that." I say sadly. I notice that Anthony looks confused and Toby looks horrified.**

"Danny, what's wrong with your voice?" **Anthony asks confused. Oh, shit. I spoke in my usual voice.**

**"Puberty," I squeak. I then cough to clear up my throat, "Bloody 'ell, I hate when that 'appens."**

"Ah, I know how that is friend," **Anthony says with a smile. God, is he really THAT stupid? He then turns to Toby.**

"In a year or two, your voice will do the same thing." **Toby smiles unsurely.**

**"Anthony, do yeh have any clue where th' good ol' Judge has 'er locked up?" I ask. Anthony shakes his head in dismay.**

"I haven't a clue in the world," **He says sadly.**

**"Well, where haven't you looked?"**

"I've looked everywhere."

**"Even the mad house?" I ask, giving Toby a wink. Anthony looks at me like a deer in headlights.**

"Are you suggesting that Judge Turpin put her in there?"

**"Why not?" I state, "He seems capable o' anythin'." Anthony looks unsure. I calmly approach him and place my hand on his shoulder.**

**"It won't hurt yeh t' check out th' place. If she is there, go to Mr. Todd. He may be able to help." Anthony smiles at me.**

"I will, friend. Thank you!" **And with that, Anthony bolted off. I glance at Toby and he's beaming at me.**

"You are th' smartest girl I've ever known, alongside Mum, that is…" **He says shyly. I smile and ruffle his hair.**

**"Let's not get our hopes up yet."**

**

* * *

  
**

**I head up to Sweeney's shop, feeling lighter than I have in months. I know I told Toby not to get our hopes up, but I can't help but feel like this is almost over…well, when it comes to getting the Judge that is. I still have to play matchmaker, which will probably be more challenging than killing the Judge!**

"Come in," **Sweeney says, a bit muted by the door. I enter calmly, not surprised to see him staring out the window. I glance down at his desk and am pleasantly surprised to see an empty plate.**

**"I see you've been eating."**

**Sweeney turns and looks at me. He then glances down at the food before staring back out the window. I could've sworn I saw him smile very slightly.**

"What brings you up here, girl?" **He asks me softly. I take a breath. This is it.**

**"Anthony may be paying you a visit really soon."**

**Sweeney turns quickly, knowing the meaning behind my words. We silently stare at each other. It's hard to tell what he's thinking. However, I can tell that he's at least happy seeing there's that dangerous spark in his eyes. Sweeney turns to fully face me, slowly folding his razor back up.**

"The Judge may soon come?" **He whispers.**

**"I'm hoping that will be the case. Toby and I bumped into Anthony and I mentioned Fogg's Asylum to him in his quest to find Johanna. If he finds her there, he WILL come to you for help," I say calmly. Sweeney is quiet, looking to the ground. I fiddle with my shirt as I wait for him to say something. God, why must he be so quiet? It's almost impossible to have a conversation with him unless he goes mad and tries to kill you!**

"Leave me," **He whispers. LEAVE ME?!?!? That's all he can say? How about "Thank you!" I give him a look (which he doesn't see) and leave his shop. I do hope that Anthony shows up. If he doesn't within a few days, I'll most likely be dealing with a PMS-ing barber for the rest of the week!**


End file.
